The moment we are born in this world, we get into relationships, as sons/daughters, then as nieces, nephews, friends, husbands/wives, fathers/mothers, grandmothers/fathers. We try to live up to the expectations of all but at times it becomes difficult to keep everybody happy. Most, if not everybody, go through this dilemma once or more than once in his/her life.
How to deal with it..?
One option is to "be yourself". Let everybody adjust to you.
Sounds selfish..?
Sounds selfish..?
Other option is to listen to everybody and try to accommodate yourself with their liking.
Sounds terrible..?
Fear losing your identity and become more of like them while trying to live up to their expectations..?
What should then be the remedy..!!
Listening to "no one" can make us stubborn and devoid of the rich experiences of others. On the other hand, listening to every bit of advice of our loved ones, and trying to make them happy can harm the individual growth and free thinking. Our loved ones think good of us. They want to protect us from every evil known or perceived to be known. They grew with their own set of ideologies and think these ideologies and their way of life as the best ones. But there are varied ways to reach at same goal.
So the middle path is, listen to them, try to empathize and think. This thinking gives us time to assimilate and then arrive at a conclusion. After this exercise only, tell your view point and explain, why you think differently. Mutual respect to living styles and ideologies is essential to create a strong bond while maintaining individual identities.
After all every one is different. Everybody's mood, age, attitude, aptitude, physical structure is different. Everybody's immediate environment is different, despite living in same house, with common parents and siblings. Everybody looks at things differently thus their perception is different. It's not necessary that one ideology is superior to others. Developing own perspective is essential. As it is said, "Variety is the spice of life". How could nature have been so vibrant and colorful if every tree, flower, fruit was same in color, size, texture, smell and taste.?
Understanding the difference and respecting it is the key to cement a relationship. Every one is different and we should never try to impose our way of thinking although it might have proved useful to us. Conveying our perspective and helping others to develop an understanding is different from imposing it. Let your child, friend, spouse, colleague or subordinate be themselves.
(image courtesy-web images)
( Readers are welcome to enrich this article.)
Sounds terrible..?
Fear losing your identity and become more of like them while trying to live up to their expectations..?
What should then be the remedy..!!
So the middle path is, listen to them, try to empathize and think. This thinking gives us time to assimilate and then arrive at a conclusion. After this exercise only, tell your view point and explain, why you think differently. Mutual respect to living styles and ideologies is essential to create a strong bond while maintaining individual identities.
After all every one is different. Everybody's mood, age, attitude, aptitude, physical structure is different. Everybody's immediate environment is different, despite living in same house, with common parents and siblings. Everybody looks at things differently thus their perception is different. It's not necessary that one ideology is superior to others. Developing own perspective is essential. As it is said, "Variety is the spice of life". How could nature have been so vibrant and colorful if every tree, flower, fruit was same in color, size, texture, smell and taste.?
Understanding the difference and respecting it is the key to cement a relationship. Every one is different and we should never try to impose our way of thinking although it might have proved useful to us. Conveying our perspective and helping others to develop an understanding is different from imposing it. Let your child, friend, spouse, colleague or subordinate be themselves.
(image courtesy-web images)
( Readers are welcome to enrich this article.)
Hmmm... :-)
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